One year without her amazing smile.
One year without her laugh.
One year without her sarcastic roll of the eyes.
One year without watching her cuddle with her children.
One year without crazy phone conversations about anything and everything.
One year since she’s had to be stuck with a needle.
One year since she has suffered in pain.
We’ve gotten through the year of firsts.
The first summer, the first football season, the first Christmas.
We made it to the one year anniversary.
I wasn’t sure how today was going to go.
I thought maybe I’d be upset.
I thought maybe I would be in denial.
What I didn’t expect was…
PEACE… JOY… HOPE…
Did I miss my Katie today? OH YES!
Did I remember what I was doing EVERY minute of this day last year? OH YES!
Did my heart hurt? OH YES!
However, my overall feeling is one of being TRULY BLESSED!
Blessed to have an amazing husband to hold me when I cry.
Blessed to be surrounded by friends and family who continue to check on how I’m doing.
Blessed by texts that say “I’m thinking about and praying for you today.”
Blessed by friends who send herbs rather than flowers because that’s more me.
Blessed by emails and Facebook posts that let me know I am loved.
Blessed by The Sisters who have held me through this year and had lunch with me today.
Blessed by a boss who understood that I couldn’t work today.
Blessed by my loving heavenly Father whose hand has so obviously been in every detail of this year and the years preceding it.
I will never understand why my Katie had to leave me (us). I will always mourn that her earthly body wasn’t strong enough to fight the evil that invaded it. No, I will never understand that her children had to lose their mother.
But, here is something I KNOW…
God has been GLORIFIED daily throughout Katie’s sickness and her death. His name has been lifted in song and praise. People have come to serve Him through her story. She has left an amazing legacy.
I am humbled and blessed to be a small part.
I miss you my Katie.